Being a mom is hard! It is the most difficult job I have ever had. I love it but some days I hate it. There I said it. Sometimes being mom just sucks. We all feel this way, we just never say it. The positive far outweighs the negative of course but there are still times that I wish I could just call in sick. We all know what happens when mom is sick. The GD corporation we are managing starts to slowly fall apart. We don't have time to be sick or be tired or take a 3 week vacation to the Bermuda Triangle. And that is ok. We are in this to win it and success as a mother comes everyday in the payment of hugs and laughter and happy little faces. There is still so much chatter about what is best...being a Stay at Home Mom vs. a Working Mom. Let me tell you what I have found from being on both sides.
There is no right, wrong or inappropriate answer here. Both of these positions has its own set of challenges. Some families are blessed to be able to have mom stay home to focus on the children and household. Others need all able bodies working. Some moms need to work, mentally they need that challenge and time away from the home. Other moms desire to stay home and manage their families. To each their own in my opinion. As a working mom, I ran my own company for 13 years. It was exhausting to say the least. I had four babies while running a successful business with needy clients and employees. Additionally I was managing a nanny, the house and our family. My mind was constantly somewhere else. It was worrying about what the kids needed or where they had to be at any given time, what we would have for dinner or what family function was coming up that required my attention. All of this took away from my ability to concentrate on work. And when I was actually home, I was fielding calls, emails and texts from the office that distracted me every hour or caused me to snap at my kids when I was dealing with some shit storm happening at work. I was worrying about sales numbers, meeting client expectations and staying competitive in a growing market. My mind was constantly spinning in a million different directions. It was impossible. Absolutely impossible. I was never where I needed to be 100%. I could never give my company all that I had because my family needed me. And when I was with my family, I could never give 100% to my company. It was an impossible life I was trying to juggle. Always feeling as though I was disappointing someone. The guilt began to consume me. And it weighed on my heart heavily.
After years of burning the candle at both ends, the life I was trying to accomplish became too much and I needed to make a choice. I had already missed out on so much from when my children were young, did I want to continue down this path and be completely absent for the next stage? I had to pick. Pick between the corporate baby which I started all on my own and had grown into a successful service in the industry that customers relied on, or did I want to be part of my family 100% and be the mother I new my babies deserved? The choice was not easy and did not come overnight. But when I felt it in my heart, I knew what was best for me and my family and that was when I could make the change. I sold my company to a big corporate franchise and became a full time Stay at Home Mom.
Now any of you that want to say let DAD stay home with the kids so mom can work....well you can just take that nonsense and shove it up your ass. The reality here is that men and women are incredibly different. There is no way around this scientific fact. Those men that do enjoy staying home with the kids are RARE! Most men want to be the earners, the providers, the hunters. Unfortunately the men cannot have the babies which means it is a man's work world and if we want to join the club we have to be fucken SUPER HEROS and do double duty. No matter where you sit on this topic, it is what it is so let's just move on.
Here I am now, two years into my new job role as Stay at Home Mom and I am finding new challenges, COMPLETELY different from Working Mom struggles. Now I know why Nanny turn over is so damn high. These kids are monsters! They fight, they scream, they don't listen, they get into trouble at school, they disobey rules, they make a mess EVERYWHERE, they complain and they whine. They test nerves I never knew I had and sometimes make me want to scream at the top of my lungs. But when they aren't doing this shit, they are saying please and thank you, giving you hugs you didn't ask for, making up a game to play together and checking in on whoever is sick with a pop-tart and OJ. They are loving and caring and funny and excited about all that life has to offer. It is amazing. And I MADE THESE PEOPLE! It is exciting to watch them play a sport, or be the kid at school who helps a friend. To ace the test that you helped them study so hard for or finish the race in the top spot of their goal. It is carpools and sport snack duty. It is making sure everyone is at their event at the required time even if it is all the way across town. It is a quiet house during the day and a loud house in the evenings. It is mentally and physically exhausting. Everything that is hard about this job as a Mom has rewards far more than anything money could ever buy. Except food. We need money for food. There it is...the sacrifice and guilt. Now I feel the financial guilt of being a Stay at Home Mom. Am I doing enough to contribute to our household or am I putting too much of the financial weight on my husband? There is always a sacrifice.
Maybe you are the Super Hero Mom making it all happen! For me it was impossible. Life is full of hard decisions and choices. And now I no longer question the title any moms chooses, because we are all working through our own sacrifices and battles. I have been on both sides. I have lived both lives. And for me, now I have a preference. Even though some days are hard as fuck, this is the job for me and I will never choose anything else. At least for right now. And what didn't work for me may be exactly what you excel at. And what I prefer, may not be your cup of tea. All I know for certain is that we are all great moms, doing our best each and every day. And really, isn't that all that matters!
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