10 ways to NOT be a DILDO husband

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10 ways to NOT be a DILDO husband (yes you read that correctly!)

  1. Don't assume shit!  Ask, ask and then ask again.
  2. Check in on your wife.  Ask....Can I do anything for you?  Are you feeling OK? 
    Act like you care for shits sake!
  3. Talk to her for more than a 5 minute conversation.  She's not a fucken robot!  Listen and laugh.  Let her vent about what might have been just a shit show of a day for her.
  4. Leave her alone in the GD bathroom!!!  I don't care if the kids are on the verge of setting the house on fire.  The poor woman NEVER gets a break!  Figure whatever it is out and HANDLE THAT SHIT LIKE A BOSS!
  5. DO NOT yell at her from across the damn house!  You need something? Come ask it to her face!  That way if you're being a DILDO husband, you're close enough for her to smack your ass!  BUT remember, if she yells at you from across the house, it's OK.  She's probably trying to keep your offspring alive and needs you to get off your ass and engage.
  6. Let her EAT a HOT meal! Don't ask for shit once she's sat down.  Your legs ain't broke, get up and get it yourself.  If she's eating a cold meal, you're being a DILDO husband!
  7. No one eats alone!  If you've finished inhaling the meal your lovely wife has prepared for you, sit and wait until she's finished eating too.  It's an opportunity to chat and catch up.  No one likes eating alone.  Unless she tells you she wants to eat alone, then get the F outta there quickly and quietly!
  8. If she asks for your help on something....HELP!  She knows you work your ass off so it's certainly not something real hard...like changing light bulbs, or putting something away.  If she asks, do it!  Because she probably doesn't ask too often!
  9. Love on her!  Show her that you noticed a new hairstyle or that her trips to the gym are paying off. Compliment the woman that sacrificed herself to make your family. She needs it!
  10. Take your wife out on regular date nights.  Make time for just the two of you to connect and be together.  Your wife is the hub of the family.  Without her, shit doesn't run.  If you aren't still trying to "date" your wife then you're being a SUPER DILDO husband!  That's right!  Time to pick up the phone, make some plans and get your ass off this list.  Because let's be honest, NO ONE WANTS A DILDO HUSBAND!

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