Recently we traveled International. Now I know that body odor is a real possibility and that is why I bathe regularly and apply all necessary elements to prevent such an issue. With that said, I don't think that everyone got the fucken memo! I fully expect different traditions among different cultures and areas of the world and respect that. But bathing people?! I mean come on! We had the pleasure of standing in the LONGEST security check line at the airport in another country while being overthrown with the most heinous aroma known to man. And guess the fuck what...it was a man! The one standing a few bodies ahead of us. I literally almost vomited, fainted and died all at the same damn time. I honestly fully expected this event to end with a video going viral of me freaking the fuck out after being told I had to sit next to this dude on the plane. Thankfully that was not the case and life went on and we parted ways off to our separate countries....thank my fucken stars! Because I thought to myself I just CAN NOT handle that shit ever again!
2 days later...
My 10 year old son walked past me after a nice long day at school filled with playing at recess and gym and all other exciting fun filled kid activities and my brain immediately flashed back to the airport! I said STOP! What the hell is that smell? He looked at me puzzled and I lifted up his arm, ALMOST DIED AGAIN, looked at him and said CAN YOU NOT SMELL THAT? His face said yes but he did not answer my question. I said Son, I gave you like 3 sticks of deodorant! Do you use them? He said I forgot today mom. And this is what I calmly said to him....
Well, you may have forgotten your 'D' today, but let me tell you Son, your friends, and classmates, and teachers and probably the pretty girl sitting across from you WILL NOT forget the pain you put them through today with your BO! You MUST apply that shit every morning when getting dressed AND then probably again AFTER Fucken GYM CLASS! Please Please Please do not bring a smelly reputation onto this family that you belong to! I just cannot be the mom of the fucken stinky kid at school! Please do this for me if you will not do this for yourself! I beg of you!
He said.....OK OK OK MOM!
Thank you baby....I love you....now go take a shower before I throw up.
As a mom of 4 this is new territory for me. He is my oldest and a boy. I know EXACTLY what I need to teach my girls but clearly boys are different. And I thought I was giving him all the necessary tools to keep himself in check. So of course because of the dedicated mom I am, I made him a loving reminder.......
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