I don't know how this got so out of hand. But when did mom's across the nation start competing with one another on the most absurd ways their Elf can misbehave during the holidays? Ummmm....HELLO.....your dick head Elf is setting a bad example for your kids! All the shit he is doing in the night shows that Santa employs major jag offs at the North Pole with one mission....to destroy your house while you sleep! All while the kids laugh their asses off at this!
How did the Elf who keeps a watchful eye and reports good kiddos to Santa turn into such a menace? HOW IS THIS FUCKING GOOD? I thought the whole point of some crazy toy company developing this extra piece of crap work for parents was to help keep our children in check so they can make it to the Nice List?! Moving this guy every night is just one more thing to add to our over flowing plates during the Christmas Season but NOW on top of that we must make a mess of our house while he acts like an asshole every night? WTF??? Some parents have lost their damn minds and the evidence is in their FB posts....
Social Media is flooded with Elf mischief from making Angels in a pile of messy powder sugar, to one Elf giving another Elf an enema. There are Elves destroying the kitchen with sprinkles and ground coffee mess, shaving cream piles in the bathroom and even Thomas the Train preparing to smash a tethered Elf tied to the tracks under the gentle glow of the Christmas Tree lights. Oh and let's not forget....the Elves taking mini Elf shits all over the house...
I mean REALLY? Come on people! How is this helpful in any way? My kids can be giant assholes all on their own, they don't need to learn some new ways to piss me off and make my job harder from their Elf....who I'd like to add....IS F'n PRETEND!!
Are parents enjoying this Elf on a Shelf way too much? Do they look forward to coming up with new crazy ways their Elf can be terrible, staying up late to make it all secretly happen and then clean up their mess the next morning? WHY? Who would enjoy this extra pile of shit detail? NOT ME! Our Elf is strictly for behavior control and if he disappears for a day it's because he is taking Santa a report of my kids behavior which might possibly land their asses on the Naughty List!
So in our house we use the Elf as a parenting tool to keep our little Monsters in check! My goal in life, especially during the busiest time of the year for moms, is NOT to help encourage my kids to become even bigger dicks! So Thank You to all the parents with kids reporting at school how TERRIBLE their Elf was last night! My kids get the lame, boring, stalk your ass while you sleep and tattle your every move to Santa Elf....because fear is necessary in raising decent human beings and that is how I remain Jolly AF every holiday season!
Happy Elf-ing!
How did the Elf who keeps a watchful eye and reports good kiddos to Santa turn into such a menace? HOW IS THIS FUCKING GOOD? I thought the whole point of some crazy toy company developing this extra piece of crap work for parents was to help keep our children in check so they can make it to the Nice List?! Moving this guy every night is just one more thing to add to our over flowing plates during the Christmas Season but NOW on top of that we must make a mess of our house while he acts like an asshole every night? WTF??? Some parents have lost their damn minds and the evidence is in their FB posts....
Social Media is flooded with Elf mischief from making Angels in a pile of messy powder sugar, to one Elf giving another Elf an enema. There are Elves destroying the kitchen with sprinkles and ground coffee mess, shaving cream piles in the bathroom and even Thomas the Train preparing to smash a tethered Elf tied to the tracks under the gentle glow of the Christmas Tree lights. Oh and let's not forget....the Elves taking mini Elf shits all over the house...
I mean REALLY? Come on people! How is this helpful in any way? My kids can be giant assholes all on their own, they don't need to learn some new ways to piss me off and make my job harder from their Elf....who I'd like to add....IS F'n PRETEND!!
Are parents enjoying this Elf on a Shelf way too much? Do they look forward to coming up with new crazy ways their Elf can be terrible, staying up late to make it all secretly happen and then clean up their mess the next morning? WHY? Who would enjoy this extra pile of shit detail? NOT ME! Our Elf is strictly for behavior control and if he disappears for a day it's because he is taking Santa a report of my kids behavior which might possibly land their asses on the Naughty List!
So in our house we use the Elf as a parenting tool to keep our little Monsters in check! My goal in life, especially during the busiest time of the year for moms, is NOT to help encourage my kids to become even bigger dicks! So Thank You to all the parents with kids reporting at school how TERRIBLE their Elf was last night! My kids get the lame, boring, stalk your ass while you sleep and tattle your every move to Santa Elf....because fear is necessary in raising decent human beings and that is how I remain Jolly AF every holiday season!
Happy Elf-ing!
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